


Boy and Soldier, Burnt and Soldered

by Cas_203



Series: Ashes to Ashes, Burned our Hearts to the Ground [3]
Category: Avengers, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Bucky Barnes Feels, Copious amount of Italic use, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Hurt Bucky, Hurt Steve Rogers, Language, Let’s Punch Thanos in his Purple Raisin of a Face, SO MANY SPOILERS I SWEAR, Scream at me in the comments, Spoilers, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, WHO’S WITH ME?, also I’m sorry, guys what’re you doing here if you haven’t seen the movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-03 03:23:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14559771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cas_203/pseuds/Cas_203
Summary: (MAJOR SPOILERS: PROCEED WITH CAUTION)When Bucky goes, Steve kneels on the floor silent and open mouthed with his gaze on Thor and, for once- just once- he wants someone else to be the responsible one.





	Boy and Soldier, Burnt and Soldered

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all so, so much for all the kudos, comments, bookmarks and reads on this series so far; it means so, so much to me.
> 
> Here’s to Bucky, and here’s to Steve.
> 
> Our boys will come back.

When Bucky goes, Steve swears that he loses his life again. It’s sudden, confusing, and so _undeserving_ and _he wasn’t ready to lose him again_ \- Steve wasn’t strong enough to bear that; despite what people thought, Captain America wasn’t invincible.

When Bucky goes, he wants to turn back time to before he became this- this Patriotic-Bald-Eagles-are-Sacred-and-Watch-Your-Language symbol of righteousness. He wants to go back to when there were no Aliens, no magical beings that could ruin your existence and shred you into tiny paper pieces and then burn you into ash.

When Bucky goes, Steve feels his heart clench and his breath catch _(silently, always silently)_ at the sight of his best friend’s ashes. A part of him wants to gather it all up, put the gray powder inside a box so it doesn’t blow away in the wind... so there could be something of Bucky he could possibly rebuild.

When Bucky goes, he remembers short, slick hair and arms so much more bigger than his and protection against the bullies he _always_ insisted he never needed protection from; he remembers double breasted army jackets, heavy lidded caps, decorative labels; he remembers simple and normal and safe _(and that’s fucked up, Steve knows that too. He’s accepted it)._

When Bucky goes, Steve kneels silent and open mouthed with his gaze on Thor and for once- _just once_ \- he wants someone else to be the responsible one. He wants to forget that they just lost a war to possibly the greatest villain to ever exist, and he wants to stop feeling this mind numbing pain that’s paralysing his body and he just wants to _scream_.

When Bucky goes, he knows the way ‘ _Steve_ ’ fell past his lips like a quiet plea would haunt him for days- Steve also knows that whenever his name is said by anyone else he will now flinch or falter, because _this right here_ was his _friend_ , and to _witness_ that happen to his friend was _torture_.

When Bucky goes, Steve recalls a promise.

( _‘With you till the end of the line’)_

When Bucky’s gone, he realises that it’s one he won’t let himself break.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yay! This one is more of a long Drabble, but it fit with the series. I hope it wasn’t too OOC, this series is my first venture into writing marvel fan fiction.
> 
> You’re free to scream at me in the comments, and I have tissues *dangles box*.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, I wanted to let you guys know: everything will come full circle here, and this series will probably end up going for a long time. It’d be awesome if you guys wanted me to show something in particular, and I’ll gladly take suggestions on anything you’d like to see.  
>  
> 
> (More’s coming soon).


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